The 12 Labors of Heracles
by moronic-muffin
Summary: The Twins make a deal with the SJ staff: Complete 12 tasks, and we'll stop bothering you. I'm beginning to run out of ideas . . except cheesyness. Sorry, but I won't be writing this anymore D: if anyone wants to continue it, PM me and we'll chat C:
1. SO IT BEGINS

Title: The 12 labors of Heracles

Rating: Unknown. Derp.

Author: Moronic-Muffin

Description: Hmm…well, I did give up writing for a while, with finals and all. Anyways, I got back to it after I read the myth the 12 labors of Heracles at school. I noticed that most myths were senselessly violent. Reminded me of Superjail. So…I made this. There's one chapter where Star Trek will be intertwined (Good Lord, I crossover the most random things) but that's it. I'm just bored and my account looks boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooring…

CHAPTER ONE: The Beginning of Madness

The Warden quietly entered the Twins' laboratory with Alice, his lovely prison guard, and that…little…midget man. With the big forehead. Warden didn't like to think about him, and usually pushed his existence to the back of his head. Oh yes, Jared. Jared. And his trusty floating, refrigerator-sized robot. Jailbot.

Warden had never been in here, and was quite impressed. Originally, he felt like the Twins were a nuisance, and decided that locking them in a chamber underground with a toothpick would kill them. But they built a laboratory with that toothpick.

This proved that the Twins were actually smart nuisances.

After waiting for 5 minutes, Warden felt his patience boil. Tapping his cane impatiently, he waited longer.

"No sense in annoying me. I'll be over there in a few seconds." The twin said from his chair. He then swiveled to face the Warden and cringed at Jared's ugliness.

"You fags are wasting my fucking time." Alice said. "Get on with it."

The Twin cleared his throat and looked at his brother. His brother shrugged.

"Warden of Superjail, Jailbot, Miss Alice, and Sir Midget, we've decided to make a deal with you. You complete 12 tasks for us, we leave you alone."

"No more mayhem?" Jared asked eagerly. "Sir, we must take this opportunity. This would increase the budget and--"

"Jared! Shut up, will you! I need to deal with more important things than our budget."

Jared fell silent.

The twin continued, "As I said before I was interrupted by that ugly midget,"

Jared pouted.

"My brother and I are willing to leave Superjail peacefully if you complete them. You can have as much time as you like, but you cannot bring anything."

The twin glanced at his brother, thin lips curling into some kind of smile or smirk.

"If you don't, you owe US half of Superjail's profits, more space, another toothpick, and we'd like a Jailbot."

"I want to name it Combaticus Jr."

"Shut up, brother."

"No."

Warden didn't hesitate to think. "Sounds splendiferous! We'll be on our way then. Right Alice?"

"Whatever, douche."

"Right Jailbot?"

"Bleep."

"Right, Jared?"

"Sir, I'm not sure about this…"

"I'm glad you all agree with me! Because you should!" Warden grinned gleefully, making the Twins cringe.

"So…?" One twin asked his brother, grasping his gloved hand.

"Your first task is to

Haha I stopped. No moar until the next chapter.

Cliffhanger yaaaaaay


	2. Nova's Hard Drive

Title: The 12 Labors of Heracles

Author: Moronic-Muffin

Chapter 2: The Nemean Lion

Leaves off from what the Twins were saying from Chapter 1…

"is to find Nova."

"Nova…" Warden inquired. "You mean Mistress' robot, the one that raped Jailbot?"

Jailbot's emoticon face frowned. "BLEEP."

"Yes. Nova."

"You need to steal her hard drive. This is no simple task. You'd best work hard."

"I see…" Warden smiled. "JARED! Go get Nova's hard rive."

"But SIR!" Jared cried, flapping his arms. "I have no idea where they are! They could be in some desolate mountain or something."

"Go to the office. You know the panoramic window? Look outside. Find her. Steal it. Come back."

Warden pulled out his pocket watch.

"You have 10 minutes."

The twin shrugged. "Do as you please, Warden. But bossing around your stupid accountant is no panacea. If you want to succeed, you'd best work together."

"…Well, we'll ALL go to the window and watch Jared find her."

-o-

After Warden's excessively stupid comment, the Twins demanded they leave their lab. Warden, Alice, Jailbot and Jared walked (or in Jailbot's case, floated) back to Warden's office, where Warden demanded that Jared find Nova, which made Jared have a heart attack, which made Alice punch Jared. Nothing would get done if they didn't out their wits together.

After Alice had punched everyone in the room at least twice, everyone was quiet and sober enough to make plans.

Jailbot would track Nova's presence. Then Alice hit Nova with a baseball bat. Jared would steal the harddrive. Warden would distract mistress.

IT WAS TIME TO PUT THIS PLAN INTO ACTION.

-o-

"HEY THERE." Warden said awkwardly as he swung in front of Mistress. Mistress cringed. "What do you want now, Warden? CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY TRYING TO MAKE PLANS TO DESTROY YOU?"

"Ahaha, plans. They start with 'P'."

"Well? What do you want?"

"…I forgot."

"Then go away."  
"I remember~"

"Then what?"

"I forgot."

"THEN GO AWAY."

"BUT I REMEMBER."

-o-

Alice watched Warden annoy Mistress from a distance, and signaled Jailbot for action. Jailbot mimicked Mistress' voice with a computer Warden installed, and beckoned Nova to come over. Nova floated over.

"Is there something I could help you with?"

"Bleep."

"Oh. You. Retro-Model."

"BLEEEEEEEEP."  
Jailbot smashed the pink robot into small pieces. Including the drive.

"…Bleep."

Jared started to sweat uncontrollably. "J-J-J-JAILBOT WHAT DID YOU DOOOOOO?!" He screamed. "WE KILLED IT! EVERYTHING'S RUINED! WE'RE GOING TO DIE NOW, DEAR GOD I CAN SEE THE APOCALYPSE."

"SHUT UP, JARED. BE SENSIBLE." Alice grunted. She handed him a plastic bag. "Put the pieces in here and hurry, since Warden's testing Mistress's patience."

-o-

"I REMEMEBER~~~"

"THEN TELL ME, GODDAMNIT!"

"I've forgotten~"

"GAAAAAAAAH." Mistress lunged for Warden's neck, only to have Warden be pulled into the air by a familiar, refrigerator sized robot. Warden stuck his tongue out at her.

Mistress finally lost it. "I'LL GET YOU, YOU DAMNED MEDDLING KIDS."

-o-

Warden crashed through a wall of the Twins' cell on a rainbow, followed by Jailbot, Alice, and Jared. Warden tossed them the plastic bag before sitting on one of their chairs and propping his feet on their computer's keyboard.

"There you have it. Task one is DONE."

The Twins smiled. "BUT, we asked you for the hard drive WHOLE. This thing is smashed into pieces."

"Actually you didn't, sirs." Jared said. "Play the recording, Jailbot~"

Jailbot played a recording of the Twins' voice:

"Bring us back Nova's hard drive."

"You never DID say that you wanted it whole or in small pieces." Jared continued.

"THAT'S RIGHT. WE FOUND A LOOPY-LOOPY-LOOPHOLE IN YOUR SINISTER PLANS." Warden said in a cacophonic voice. The Twins shrugged. "Fine by us."

"Let's just see if you can complete the next task."

The end for now

Hohoho

Cliffhanger ftw

This was a shitty chapter with bad writing, but YOU KNOW. I TRIED.


	3. The Hydra pt1

Title: The 12 labors of Heracles

Written By: Moronic-Muffin

HAY YOU GUYS.

I do really enjoy slacking off on writing, but I'm compelled to do this. Usually, I plan before I write, but I'm just going to make up this chapter as I go along. I'm split it into 2 chapters. I'm stupid like that.

NO, I didn't stop writing this story. I'm just retarted.

And I have no idea how Hydras can tie into Superjail, so why not make Warden travel to Greece and find that magical snake thing like Heracles did?

I need something better to do with my time.

-0-

"Let's see if you can complete the next task."

Warden huffed impatiently. He didn't like working. That was Jared's job, not his.

Just then, Jared accidentally knocked over a bookshelf. Books toppled everywhere, scattering on the floor, and one particular book slid over to the twin. He looked down to read the title.

_Greek Myths._

On the cover was the infamous Hydra, with Heracles proceeding to sever its head.

The twin's brother also noticed the cover.

"You must slay a--" The twin started.

His brother quickly clamped his hand over his mouth, and signaled that they needed to discuss something.

Twin #1 dragged his brother over to a desolate corner.

"What do you mean, SLAY A HYDRA?"

"That book! It gave me inspiration…"

"That's impossible though! Hydra's don't exist and--"

"You're slow, aren't you? That's the point. If they can't do it, they don't win."

"…"

"We get our stuff."

"Oh."

The brothers walked back.

Warden was staring at a wall, as Alice tried to kick Jared and Jailbot frowned upon this all.

There was no way these idiots could slay a hydra.

END

SHORT HUH

But I'm stupid like that.

I read it and LOL IT'S SO CHEESY  
I would be ashamed of myself if I had any dignity (which I don't)


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